Better Days, Baby, Better Days Are Coming True

Here at the Last Manatee Saloon, we're surveying the wreckage of recent times. We know we're going to have a hard summer--Obama always does. The earth keeps eating all my favorite places--this time Guatemala with the world's most awesome sink hole--a perfect, huge cylinder with no end. The BP oil spill may lead to the extinction of the Sperm Whale. The final death count will take a decade. Hopefully, the Blue Heron can survive.

And if American Christians have gone crazy, then we have a line-up of great religions going in the tank. The Sikh Republican candidate for Governor of South Carolina now had to deny a second affair. The Dalai Lama admitted he was a Marxist. And Vatican is still being investigated for pedophilia. And now the Jews have abandoned Maimonides and embraced F Troop.

At least our great deliberative bodies--state legislatures--continue the people's business. Here in Virginia, the House of Delegates debates changing the open carry law in bars so that gun-toting patrons can now drink also. Should make fights over sporting events interesting. In Louisiana, the legislature , preoccupied by the oil spill disaster, are debating an open carry law for churches. Instead of the "Amen"chorus, you can fire into the air when you like the sermon. The same body during Hurricane Katrina, debated an anti-abortion law in case Wade v. Roe were overturned. Meanwhile, the cops were shooting down blacks trying to flee New Orleans.

Bibi was in fine form yesterday, saying that the Free Gaza Flotilla was "Not the Love Boat, but the Hate Boat." The Israelis produced weapons they claim they found on the ship. But in this day of the internet, this great coup was quickly discredited because bloggers noted that the serial numbers matched those of guns seized by the IDF in 2006.

Former UN Assistant Secretary of State and former USAID Baghdad official Denis Halliday is on the Rachel Corrie en route to Gaza. Mr. Halliday emphasized the non-violent nature of the relief mission and noted that the Rachel Corrie could not simply hand the materials to the Israelis because they were carrying cement. The NPR interview came before the news that the ship's engines had been sabotaged by the IDF, which announced this publicly in the Israeli papers.

The White House stated that the blockade of Gaza was not sustainable, despite Joe Biden's vigorous defense of Israel on the Charlie Rose show. While Bibi thanked Obama for America getting the UN to water down the resolution on the incident, this did not stop the neocons from slamming Obama for his lack of support for Israel. But, voices within Israel are emerging demanding the end of the Gaza blockade and claiming that once Palestinians use traditional civil disobedience the Israelis are simply flat-footed in response. One of the weirder defenses of the blockade by the government was that they are preventing Iran from building a base on the Mediterrean. Like Egypt and Israel would tolerate this.

It's not the condemnation that hurts. Israel is used to that. But the ridicule has been devastating. Even the Free Gaza Flotilla people are talking condescendingly about the "young Israeli commandos" who panicked when people used folding chairs to defend themselves. Some wag suggested the commandos get training to defend against Islamic folding chairs.

Even Hamas seems to feel sorry for the Israelis. Their spokesman said that if the Israelis fear cement and the credit Hamas would receive building anything for the people of Gaza, then Hamas would allow non-governmental organizations into Gaza to use the cement themselves to build schools, hospitals and housing. Hamas would stay out of it.

Johns Hopkins diagnosed David Frum as having an "inordinate fear of cement" and suggested he de-tox at a farm.

Whatever the eventual outcome of this episode, the idea of Israeli Commandos as F Troop or the guerrillas in Woody Allen's Bananas seem to fit the deteriorating narrative of Middle East struggles-- what with Al Qaeda operatives blowing their gonads off and all. Think if the Israelis actually tried to eliminate Iran's nuclear sites? Maybe Groucho would make an appearance. "Freedonia's gone to War!"

Maybe the Israelis caught something from us. George W. Bush told a Michigan crowd that he would "waterboard again" and was proud of the decision to commit a war crime. He didn't say war crime but that's what he proudly announced.

The Gallup Poll's generic race records that Republicans have the largest lead since 1950. The Gallup poll also records that Democrats approval rating has stabilized at 43% and Republicans sank further to 31% in a month. As my African colleague loves to say when projects get screwed up, "People are confused." If you can square these results, you're better than I am.

A group of conservative attorneys in California say they are on a mission from God to unseat four judges. The four San Diego Superior Court candidates are backed by he religious right, gun enthusiasts and anti-abortion activists and opponents of gay marriage. Craig Candelore, one of the candidates said,"We believe our country is under assault and needs Christian values. Unfortunately, God has called upon us to do this only with the judiciary." Two of the Republican candidates for governor have announced they favor ousting Supreme Court justices who legalized same-sex marriage.

And in envirommental news, it appears that fish taken from the Connecticut River in Vermont tested positive for Strontium-90 because of nearby nuclear power plants.