Octopus Picks and Headless Bodies

The Psychic Octopus has made its final picks for the World Cup. Germany will beat Uruguay and Spain wins the whole thing topping the Netherlands. Place your bets. The octopus has never been wrong the whole time. People are so incensed over the creature's predictions it has received death threats.

Speaking of death threats, Dana Milbank ought to be worried about his Washington Post column today joyfully entitled " Headless Bodies and other immigration tall tales from Arizona." Milbank eviscerates Governor Jan Brewer and the immigration hysterics. Besides the fact that everything said by supporters of the Arizona Law is wrong, I guess you just have to get into the mindset to accept such nonsense. General Boykin has. He's on Christian radio stations alerting the country to whole towns in Mexico converting to Islam and secret cells being infiltrated into the United States by smugglers of illegal immigrants. Since President Obama will do nothing about this, the Southern California Christian Militia is calling on fellow militia men to flood the border and in particular patrol the 80 mile stretch from the border to Tucson, which Fox News says Obama seceded to Mexico. This raises the important question,"What gun would Jesus use?"

Governor Brewer, who was chosen by God to be Governor of Arizona, says that law enforcement agencies have found bodies in the desert either buried or just lying out there that have been beheaded. Apparently Daniel Pearl was one of them. Tastless I admit. But apparently, the Arizona Guardian Website checked with medical examiners in all of Arizona's border counties and they had never seen an immigration-related beheading. Well, John McCain says that Phoenix has become the number 2 kidnapping capital in the world and after all he's a war hero. Apparently, that's not true either. Kidnapping reports are going down and almost every other city on planet Earth has a higher rate.

OK, the utter mayhem on the border has just rattled the Arizona politicians so they exaggerate a little bit. I mean the Arizona authorities simply had to take matters into their own hands because President Obama has allowed a porous border to be used by rampaging Mexican Muslims bent on creating death panels and forcing border towns to adopt sharia law. They're picking off law enforcement officers like flies. Well, that's not quite true either. Although less than 25% of deaths are linked to immigrants.

The Arizona Republic conducted a report based on the FBI and local police agencies and found that the crime rate in the border towns was ..well.. pretty much the same for the last decade. In 2000, for instance, there were 23 rapes, robberies and murders in Nogales, Arizona. After a decade of population growth, there were 19 such crimes. The Pima County sheriff forgot to get the memo. He says "the border has never been more secure." But Vietnam war hero and POW John McCain says the violence simply is the worst he has ever seen even during bombing raids over Vietnam. The horror is such his whole family are contemplating evacuating at least a dozen of their homes in the state.

The FBI statistics actually show that violent crime rates in all the border states are lower than they were a decade ago. President Obama claimed last week in a moment of delirium that "the southern border is more secure today that any time in the past 20 years." But as Bill O'Reilly said last night President Obama by suing Arizona is waging war of the people of America.

This is an outrage. Governor Brewer claims that the majority of people immigrating illegally "are coming here and they're bringing drugs, and they're doing drop houses and they're extorting people and they're terrorizing families." I guess even the Muslim Mexicans are afraid. It's so bad that the Border Patrol's Tucson Sector has apprehended more than 170,000 undocumented immigrants since October 1, but only about 1,100 drug prosecutions have been filed in the whole state of Arizona in that time. But Bill O'Reilly says that there are over 1,500 violent illegal immigrant felons in jail in Phoenix so I guess the Tucson Border Control missed this. Sarah Palin said that as President she would send as many National Guardsmen to the border as was needed for this national crisis. I'm sure they would be see this as relief from serving several tours in Afghanistan and Iraq.

It's so bad that these illegals are leeching across borders all the way to Georgia where one legislator claimed yesterday that illegals were costing the state $1 billion a year. Not since the Italians flooded our shores with anarchists has there even been such a crisis. And where is Eric Holder? Well, apparently in the fall, Homeland Security and the FBI busted up a ring of smugglers who were responsible for roughly 80,000 people coming across the border every year. Fox News apparently was busy that day.

Or maybe they were on to an even bigger story--the nation-wide conspiracy of the New Black Panther party to intimidate voters. Not since ACORN managed to put Obama into the White House has something so dastardly been plotted. And President Obama does nothing.

What's a White Boy to Do but Join a Rock and Roll Band. But this might support the secular, socialist government.