Riprap*

Apologies to Gary Snyder

Bryan Fisher of the American Family Association said that the firefighters who let the house burn down in Tennessee because the owner hadn't paid the $75 fee did the "Christian" thing. I would love to see this debated in an ethics class in a theological school.

The Family Research Council has bought time to air ads against Democrats arguing citizens want government off their backs and are against abortion and somehow those two things are connected.

Another episode of the Alaskan Grifters aired. In this--one of our favorite websites mudflats--revealed that Todd Palin was angry at Joe Miller for not telling Fox News Sister Sarah would be an excellent President. Todd, who is a thug and prone to bullying,made sure Sarah's endorsement of Joe was taken down from facebook. "Is this endorsement thing a one way street?" Todd blasted Miller. This was in response to one of Miller's rare diplomatic answers that "They are many qualified candidates out there." Todd admits he sent the e-mails. What the e-mails admit is that Palin is running for President. Perhaps, the real giveaway was Bristol Palin's facebook note that she wishes he mother would run for President. Sarah's also angry with Meghan McCain for dissing Sarah Palin and her family in her new campaign book. McCain was pissed she couldn't get laid during the campaign and that everyone talked about Bristol in reverential tones--she's a pregnant unwed teenager and I take care of myself. Touche.

Just think about this a minute. A woman, who was mayor of the Meth capital of Alaska, then becomes governor and quits mid-way through the term is going to run for President. She left Alaska with a debt of 70% of their GDP and decimated the state's social programs. One of the class things she did was after giving birth to a Down's Syndrome child she cut programs to assist families with special needs children. Almost as soon as she stepped down, the Feds had to seize nursing homes because of abuse of the elderly. And she wants to be President and is the Queen of the Teabaggers. The RNC is still paying for her legal bills she wracked up in Troopergate.

I think someone should try and punk Palin by getting Zhirinovsky, the Russian nationalist to endorse her.

Mel Martinez, the former RNC chairmen and former Senator from Florida, hopes the GOP doesn't win the Senate because of all the wingnuts running. At least he says if the Democrats remain in power it will be their agenda. He said Republicans are nowhere near ready to govern again. He opined that Christine O'Donnell was a joke compared to Mike Castle.

The Bozo The Clown mystery is nearing resolution. Christine O'Donnell's father admitted that he was not a certified Bozo the Clown because he did not go to school in Texas. he was only a substitute Bozo in Philadelphia, filling in when the certified Bozos had other appearances. Someone did a great Photoshop of a billboard saying "Show Us Your Bozo Certificate".

Another great line. Mark Halperin in Game Change on McCain" He looked like your eccentric uncle desparately seeking a men's room."

Glenn Beck has urged all his audience to vote so the United States doesn't become a Third World country. If they all do, we will become a Third World country.

Joe Miller may have crossed the line--what line hasn't he crossed?--by saying today that he wanted the direct election of Senators to be repealed and that state legislatures should nominate them. Vote for me so I can take away your vote? Is there some other aspect of Rove's vision of a return to McKinley we are missing.

SEXY TIME? Indiana's University Center for Sexual Health Promotion issued the most comprehensive national survey of Americans' sexual behavior since 1994. Based on interviews with 5,865 people, aged 14 to 94, it appears as the special issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine. The report details 41 different combinations of sexual acts subjects engaged in and how often the subjects reached orgasm or thought their partner did. Since it was funded by the manufacturer of Trojan condoms, one could expect tons of questions on condom use. The good news of the survey is that young people, African-Americans and Hispanics have increased their practice of safe sex, while Baby-Boomers lag behind everyone. Researchers were concerned that males over 50 have the lowest condom usage rate and while they are more likely to be married, they are far more open to multiple sex partners in and out of marriage. 7% of adult women and 8 percent of men identify as gay, lesbian or bisexual. Among men between the ages of 50-59, 15% have received oral sex from another man at some point.

But for all the information and all the data on sexual acts, something stands out dramatically--Americans are not having alot of sex. If you bury down into the data, roughly 40% of all Americans of all ages are having no sex at all. From all the noise of the religious Right, you would think everyone is out humping trees. But the sad truth is that for all the films, television and music that surrounds us with sex, we aren't getting enough. That to me is the primary failing of the survey--why not? Remember Love the One You're With.

But someone is Bishop Long, the African-American megachurch preacher. One male came forward, then four more and now 40 from Philadelphia with law suits charging he sexually abused them. Long, a fierce homophobe and friend of George W. Bush, says he's being persecuted. Sort of like Ted Haggard, the former President of the National Evangelical Association and daily speaking buddy with George W. Haggard ministered to the gay community by hiring gay hustlers and buying drugs from them. What is it with gay ministers and George W?

Making a difference. Dan Savage's column has deteriorated in my opinion because of his activism on gay issues. Where can we read about furries anymore? But Dan started an absolutely wonderful program aimed at gay, lesbian, transgender and questioning youths--"It Will Get Better". This program shows hundreds of video testimonies from gays and lesbians about being young and coming out and living in creepy homophobic communities with creepy homophobic parents. The idea is to help young gays and lesbians cope with bullying and thoughts of suicide.

Dan started the project after two suicides in the Midwest and before the Rutgers student went off the George Washington Bridge. He thought about who to call when he heard about the first two and then decided why call anyone I'll start this project. CNN asked him how he got all the celebrities to tape messages and said that he didn 't. They just volunteered. But most of the videotape messages come from gay and lesbian adults in various walks of life, including farmers. The program has even drawn entries from Norway and New Zealand.

Nice job. Some of these videos are very moving such as the descriptions by successful adults about their own teenage suicide attempts. Their message is there is hope and there is support. Dan said when hearing about the recent rash of suicides, he thought if he had a half hour with the victims he could have saved them. Maybe his project will save more. Beautiful job.

But Dan is not going soft on us. In response to a gay-baiting show produced by the Media Research Council complaining that there are over 44 gay characters on television this year, Dan suggested if the networks really wanted to help they should have a gay couple get baptized and then later married in a church.

Remember our Christian Revisionist Historian Dave Barton? Well, he's weighed in that homosexuality should be regulated. But Barton believes business shouldn't and that abortion and contraceptives should be outlawed.

Larry Flynt believes it should be outed. Flynt was on a news program talking about Diaper Dave Vitter, the Family Values Senator from Louisiana. Hustler was the magazine which broke the story with interviews with the madams. Flynt went on to say that Vitter was a real satyr and was having so many affairs and sexual episodes he lost count. He did say that within two months he would out an American senator unless he came clean. The suggestion was that one of the GOP Senators was gay and Larry had the evidence. Any bets?