The New Marathon Man

++Most people view Dentists as some nightmare scene from the Marathon Man. I never had that reaction except now. Procedures don't bother me;it is the phalanx of financial personnel that greets me before I even see a dentist's chair let alone sit in one.

++Yesterday I went for the first part of my deep root cleaning. This is a procedure that is equivalent to a monthly mortgage payment for me. I simply can't imagine how any average American can afford this or other things like a simple extraction. 

++While ushered to my chair,I heard a patient older than me ask not about his teeth but the bill. Instead of talking to a dentist, a financial manager came in while he was in the chair to go after a line-by-line budget. The man objected and the manager eliminated one of the items. 

++The problem was that the dental industry lobbied Congress to keep dental care out of Obamacare.  That is one of the reason dental coverage is so poor. Insurance would pay only for about one-fifth of my bill.

++Now you have the strange sight of semi-well-to-do whites appearing at my dentist's office in a strip mall because a holding company decided the overhead was too high for the older professional offices in a leafy neighborhood. 

++Since my last visit,the company hired an on-site business manager to ensure all patients paid before the procedure. Then while you are in the chair any additional expenses are added on and an excel sheet is brought in while you are numb. 

++I am a walking profit center for this Dental corporation. I have spent the equivalent of three modest-priced cars on everything from root canals and implants. 

++I have not seen my "real" dentist the last three times I have been there. I am going to ask when I go in today whether he's still alive. I see remnants of his identity floating around with photos of his family and a group portrait of his staff. 

++ The dentist used to pay the staff's vacations to Cancun. I heard the business manager say they had to eliminate that perk. Instead, the dental corptation pays for on-line college credits for the staff, who often have to be interrupted from taking tests on line. 

++Maybe the dentist is at Don DeLillo's cryogenic establishment waiting to be "genetically renewed".