Wednesday Morning Coffee

The breaking news is that the "birthers"--the group who believes Obama is not a "natural-born" citizen--suffered another legal setback today. The Supreme Court turned down their petition to stay the inauguration. One of the birthers has taken a new approach--Allan Keyes, the wildly successful candidate for President on the Constitution Party ticket and the man who lost to Obama in the Illinois Senate race, has now sued the state of Illinois, saying that as runner-up as the Republican candidate he should be the one to take the Senate seat. Go Allan.

I guess I'll break my boycott of Kispy Kreme today. Not only did conservatives urge a boycott because the franchise was handing out a--one--donut to each customer to celebrate the inauguration but they advertised it was "a celebration of the American peoples' freedom of choice". This sparked the pro-life crowd to join the boycott. One donut is One Abortion. Are they going to have a little parade of donut boxes to symbolize dead fetuses?

For months I have been receiving e-mails proclaiming that America is a Christian nation and that Barack Obama was a Muslim who would take the oath of office on Lincoln's personal Koran. Rick Warren's performance I found offensive, particularly when he said the Lord's Prayer, which won kudos from the Christianists. For the record, our Founding Fathers, painfully aware of the brutal religious wars in Europe, stayed far away from the religious creeping into the political. Ben Franklin, perhaps the least religious of the founding fathers, proposed a Prayer to the Heavens to open each session of the Constitutional Convention. The delegates unanimously turned down the proposal. Nowhere in the Federalist Papers or the Minutes of the Constitutional Convention or the subsequent debates within the states to ratify will you find any reference to the so-called Christian nature of the Republic. It simply never crossed their radar screen and would have been rejected if raised.

While some believe Rick Warren is the anti-Christ, I take a wait and see attitude on this. He does look like the local Child Molester and should be kept away from young people however. I believe he was in town to stick out his hands for some faith-based initiative money--he wanted to be first in line with the new administration. Rick should go back and stay in his cone of silence.

While black is great, I support Obama because he is related to Wild Bill Hitchkok, descended from Henry Blossoms of the Mayflower and William the Lion, who ruled Scotland from 1165 to 1214. Have you noticed that the British geneaologists have not produced Obama's relationship to the royal family? Is it because Prince Phillip can't stand the idea of a black man in the family tree? At their first meeting will Phillip repeated his New Guinea performance and ask Obama "do you still eat people?'

After eight years, certainly you can pretend gravitas or at least put on a patina for the occasion. Junior looked furtive and shifty-eyed--a man fleeing justice. He does look like Alfred E. Neuman. He will be sorely missed. It was announced that 20,000 would greet his triumphal return home, when the actual number was about 3,000. Among them was "Fredo" Gonzalez, who has been umemployed since his resignation as Attorney General, and Karl "Turdblossoms" Rove, the master strategist for the new 1,000-year Reich.

When Junior started office the DOW was 10,578.02 and he left it was 7,949.09. He didn't say, "We wouldn't get our hair mussed."

Overseas reaction has been typically nuts. The French haven't been this delirious since Jerry Lew released The Nutty Professor. The Germans are celebrating in a goofy way--which is better than some of the ways Germans let off steam. Der Spiegel ran a photo spread of the inauguration, which brought back memories of Leni Riefenstahl. The German photographer inspired by the photos of Naked Nuba men shot the crowds in the national mall as if there were no white people celebrating the ceremony. Visiting Archbishop Desmond Tutu summoned it up when he exclaimed," You people are crazy. Americans are so crazy. I love you. You're so fun. You surprise us all the time." At least we kept that quality for now.

Our daily word that has been re-introduced to our vocabulary is Swill. Obama said,"we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation..." A wonderful word and we welcome it back.