The Department of Inland Security

The gravest national security threat we face is the disintegration and collapse of our economy. To this end, we should create the new Department of Inland Security. This department will be charged with issuing economic terrorist warnings and recouping money stolen from the American taxpayer.

The "Red" alert covers those who have transferred funds to offshore accounts to avoid taxes. The NSA will be instructed to hack into these accounts and transfer them to the national treasury. The amount ranges from the conservative $1 trillion to the more realistic $5 trillion. If recovered these funds could pay for the entire economic recovery of the United States and all the necessary infrastructure work. Since 2001, the United States has been legally operating under a State of National Emergency. The NSA actions would be legal under genuine national security interests.

The "Orange" alert deals with those people such as Bernie Madoff and others involved in Ponzi-style schemes. Photos of all these perpetrators and details of all their homes will be printed up in FBI-Most Wanted posters for Americans to see. With nearly 80 million gun-owners in the United States, I am sure someone will get an idea. In fact. it's amazing there has not been more violence against these types.

The "Yellow" Alert deals with those Wall Street executives and bankers who used tax-payer funds to pay bonuses to themselves and their cronies. Nearly $15 billion of the initial TARP payout--ten percent of the total--went to pay bonuses. The names, photos and places of residence will be posted on-line as well as any interesting data such as whether they own private airplanes, boats or whathaveyous. These people should be shunned by all citizens. Their golf, university and business clubs will be given their names to be posted on the membership boards. The government will pursue criminal prosecution for the return of the funds. The general idea is to encourage the ancient tradition of "shunning" where the person is excluded from society.

The Department of Inland Security will also pursue multinational corporations who park their profits overseas. They will be given the option of paying U.S. taxes or moving their headquarters overseas. If they choose the latter, then the American market will be closed to their imports. Also Americans would be deprive of their citizenship as pursuant to the rulings of Fredo Gonzalez concerning Americans involved in terrorist acts.