NUMBER 9..NUMBER 9...NUMBER 9....

OK, I got suckered into watching another Republican car wreck. The best part of the debate last night were the live tweeter feeds on various websites, who registered increasing horror as one candidate after another blundered and blustered.

A few things I learned from the debate. Obama is BAD. According to Mitt Romney, he's so bad that he hates profits. Even though almost all large corporations have made profits in Obama short time in office than during the whole Bush reign. DODD-FRANKS must be repealed because we have to get regulators off the backs of banks. The reason it's bad is because Chris Dodd backed the Sandinistas and Barney Frank is gay. If you work 30 hours a week and go to colege, you can pay for it. I also learned that our revenue situation would be OK if everyone just paid the equivalent of two Happy Meals in taxes.

The winner of the debate was Admiral Stockdale, the late Vice Presidential candidate for Ross Perot. Remember his great moment of profound philosophical insight, "Why, Why am I here?" The Reason was that Rick Perry's brain freeze reminded us of that gallant man. But it didn't do anything for Rick Perry, who is beginning to look like a bumbling version of John Connelly, the man who spent millions to become President but ended up with 1 delegate in the Republican Convention in 1976.

What I really didn't know was that Newt Gingrich received $300,000 from Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, another guarantee boo-word for Republicans. Newt claimed he wasn't a lobbyist but hired as "an historian".

Rick Santorum managed to slip in two subjects he is a lobbyist for.

After the debate, Rick Perry's leading donor asked that he quit the race. For his part, Rick just said,"I'm glad I was wearing my boots because I really stepped in it."

Have the Koch Brothers made their deal with Romney? Judson Phillips, the Koch Bro. hack of Americans for Prosperity, said that Herman Cain should quit.

Mr. 9-9-9 said that for every one woman who accused him of harassing her there were thousands more who said he didn't. So at that ratio, we should expect platoons of further revelations.

It took 39 minutes before Cain got to say 9-9-9 and by the end the audience was laughing at him , not for him when he said it.

The audience managed to convey the essence of this year's Republican base--they booed the moderator for even mentioning the sexual harassment accusations against Cain. So we've had cheering of executions, booing of gay soldiers, jeering of Mexicans and now booing of women who claimed they were sexually harrassed. How to make friends.

Even Dana Perino tweeted her dismay when Herman Cain mentioned Princess Nancy, when referring to former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. Cain's campaign that night doubled down on Princess Nancy, while this morning Herman Cain said he regretted the incident. But Nancy Pelosi is a guaranteed money-maker for Republicans. Obama, Dodd-Franks,Pelosi--those are the dog whistles.

It seemed surprising that in Michigan that Mitt and the other candidates doubled down on opposing the bailout of the auto industry, when the state only survives because Obama made that decision. The audience applauded them. The reason is that the audience was from relatively well-off Rochester, where unemployment in negligble and yearly earnings average over six figures and everyone's white.

We have progressed from the days when the GOP candidates thought we were going to become Greece. Now we're going to be Italy. Mitt emphasized that Europe was on its own and that the US should not have a TARP bailout for Europe. When we get into the general election, I hope the utter incoherence of his position makes the replay tape.

Willard looked pale and tired, showing his age. Yes, if this were a contest, Mitt, sort of won,but he is amazing because not only does he flip-flop but he is a consummate liar when he does. Because he can speak in complete sentences, people like Mark Helperin gave him an A for last night. But almost everything he said about the economy and his ideas was utter gibberish. It didn't even make sense if you were a corporate executive or very wealthy.

If Republicans have abandoned any belief in scientific or intellectual elites, why do they hold dearly to so called corporate elites, who don't have any idea about what's going on either? Even among the corporate elite, Romney is mediocre and while he will preserve the wealth of the very rich he is totally clueless about the economy. I find this surprising--actually. Any Harvard Business grad should be able to wing it. He simply does not have the experience in developing an economy. His whole business was a Wrecking Crew to pick over the remains of bankrupt businesses. So the model for making his wealth is just the reverse of anyone who actually built their wealth.

Romney got off a great laugh line when he said he was a model of steadiness and constancy and then couldn't remember how many years he has been married. I felt they should cue in Joni Mitchell's "O, Canada"-"constant as a northern star, you say."

The Romney camp is gloating this morning that Perry blew his brains out on national television. But when the dust settles, I think people will realize how very weak a candidate Romney is and how totally insubstantial his ideas are.

If you are an average American, there was not alot red meat for you in the debates. All the candidates would not help students in debt, those whose homes are underwater, those who have lost their jobs and even small businessmen and women. And I'm only talking about white folks. There is literally nothing the GOP is offering to minorities or women. If you are a thinking wealthy person, you had to be dismayed.

What struck me last night since the debate was slightly off and wobbly throughout was that here are people who are the very types of people they despise. Michelle Bachmann receives a government salary, government pension and health care and her private business receives government subsidies. Newt Gingrich has a government pension, health care and a private parking place at the House and has been a lobbyist. Rick Perry's own family could not have made it without farm supports from the government. Mitt Romney inherited the first part of his wealth, believing everyone is born on third base, and earned his considerable wealth destroying businesses. It almost makes you sympathetic to Herman Cain.

Romney proposed something utterly crazy that no one caught. He wants to make government salaries the same as in the private sector. This would be the biggest pay hike in public worker history. He has the ratio of earnings just the opposite and has for years.

There were few attacks on anyone. They are competing for 1 nomination, not second and third prize. Jon Huntsman got in a lame slam at Romney's war on China and Rick Santorum swatted at Mitt for Romneycare. Otherwise, people were just trying to survive it. Rick Perry, who was absent again for most of the debate, managed to knock himself out in the 15th round.

I can't believe CBS is going to broadcast another debate this week. This time on Foreign Policy. Of course, all of them will say that President Obama dissed Bibi Netanyahu in the open mike conservation with Sarkozy, whose the man who called Bibi a liar. So the GOP will support an Israel-first policy, which is ruinous for both our countries, and will again urge the re-invasion of Iraq.

I can see why people get hooked on Reality Television. I've gotten e-mails from conservatives who literally hooted and hollared about the debate and the digs of the candidates to each other. The problem is that those people on stage are not competing for American Idol, but the presidency of the tatttered republic.